RELATIONSHIPS

I finally started datin’ a girl I had a huge crush on, but then she dumped me to get back with her shitty ex-boyfriend. She treated me like crap anyway. She was always sneakin’ around on social media, bein’ a bitch to me and my friends, and freakin’ out when I got upset at her for talkin’ to her ex behind my back. She finally broke up with me and asked out her ex, but that didn’t work out either. HA.

She went crazy and came runnin’ back to me. She probably wanted me to take her back or somethin’. She’s always had a lot of issues, so I felt like I HAD to help her. She told me that her whole life was over, and that she’s a terrible person. I tried tellin’ her that’s not true, but she wouldn’t listen.

She’s been through alotta messed up things. I know she used to cut herself and get drunk to deal with it. It’s not like she listened to my advice anyway. Every time I told her she’s a good person she just brushed it off and told me I’m wrong. Then she told me she was actually gonna kill herself and I got freaked out.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to her, but I’m runnin’ out of ways to help. I feel like I’m responsible for her or somethin’. I wish she would stop runnin’ away from her issues and just let the people who care help her.

There are more bad days than good days, but staying together is easier than breaking up. I know we love each other, but this isn’t how things were when we first started dating. Everything I do seems to piss you off now. Even though I try to be on my best behavior and act the way you want me to, nothing is ever right. When you yell at me, and hit me, I’m still convinced it’s my fault; I’m the reason we’re falling apart.

I’m scared to end this. I’m afraid of you and what you might do to me if I do break up with you. But walking on eggshells has turned me into someone completely different; I can’t even think for myself anymore. You’re always right there watching me, 24/7. But part of me wants to make things better. I can’t imagine life without you, but I also know this isn’t how you treat someone you love. I don’t even know what I’m thinking anymore, it’s just a constant battle between staying and leaving. I want to fix this, I just don’t know how.

I like to think I’ve become a pro at secretly checking out all the cute guys at school. No one knows that I’m gay, so I try to keep the staring to a minimum so people don’t start getting suspicious. I’m definitely not ready to come out publicly yet.

Anyway, there’s one guy that looks at me sometimes, and I don’t mean a typical look, I mean like a look-look. I don’t really know much about him, but it really feels like he’s looking at me the way I look at guys. We’ve become good friends, and I guess he has some stereotypical gay tendencies, but I’m still trying to keep my guard up. I don’t want to misread him and then him realize I’m gay and not want to be friends with me anymore.

He’s super cute and it would be awesome if secretly he’s gay too. But if he’s not, I just hope it won’t affect our friendship. I’m not ready to come out to anyone yet, and my biggest fear is it will ruin my friendships. I guess I’ll just keep hoping we both feel the same way? I don’t know, I’m just afraid my feelings could start getting involved.

Relationships are complicated. It’s hard to know what to look for in a partner, and it’s also hard to recognize whether or not you’re in a healthy relationship. There are specific qualities you should notice in someone to decide whether or not they’re a good match for you. Do they treat you with respect? Do they build up your confidence? Are they comfortable with your friends and family? Are they caring and honest? Do they respect your boundaries? These are all important characteristics to look for in a partner, and also signs of a healthy relationship.

Sometimes dating can cause conflict. Conflicts don’t always have to be negative, but if you aren’t finding healthy ways to solve your problems, if you or your partner become controlling of certain situations or stop trusting each other, your relationship could be unhealthy.

As relationships become unhealthier, they can also become abusive. It’s not fair to you or your partner to be controlled, distrusted, disrespected or threatened. In some cases the best answer to your problems is to just break up. It’s not always the easy choice, but at the end of the day it may not be realistic to “fix” an abusive relationship. You need to put yourself first and do what’s best for you.

Whether you’re dealing with a break up or just need to vent about your relationship, talking to someone you can trust is always helpful.

Family members and friends are great to go to for support, but sometimes finding someone who doesn’t know the whole history of your relationship can be even better. Even if they can’t give you the answer to your problems, it’s helpful to talk about what you’re feeling and figure out what the healthy solution to your relationship problems may be.